


when your heart is hardly beating; find me

by autumndark



Category: Wanna One (Band)
Genre: First Meetings, M/M, Magical Realism, but this is basically, fluff and angst and poetry, magic and fantasy and unexpected encounters, no warnings tagged in order to avoid spoilers!, written for onghwang week day 2
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-13
Updated: 2018-08-13
Packaged: 2019-06-26 12:21:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15663138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/autumndark/pseuds/autumndark
Summary: Seongwoo is poet who has been lacking inspiration, and finds himself taking a trip to a remote island in hopes of rejuvenating his creativity.Amongst the quaint little village, overgrown forest, and flourishing seaside scenery, Ong Seongwoo meets Hwang Minhyun.





	when your heart is hardly beating; find me

**Author's Note:**

> throughout this, you may be wondering how does this fit the theme of day 2 but it will all make sense in the end! i promise c:  
> (the only hint you are getting is that if i didn't post this on day 2, it would have been posted on day 6 owo)
> 
> also like, i feel like all i do is wax poetic about onghwang's visuals (perhaps i'm whipped) so i decided to literally wax poetry ahahahaha /sobs
> 
> some listening music if you so desire - [♡](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=26c0iCROJvk)

_“time_  
  
_the healer_  
  
_and the_  
  
_killer”_  
  


d.j

  
  
  
  


Seongwoo stares at the empty word document on his laptop screen, the blinking cursor innocently mocking his lack of creativity.

“Is Editor Yoon still nagging at you for a completed manuscript?” comes Daniel’s tinny voice as a notification pops up next to his Skype icon.

Yawning, Seongwoo drags a hand down his face and replies, smiling wryly. “When is he not? It’s okay, he only wants to see what I’ve done so far. I’ve got nearly half a year left before I have to submit my first draft.

His friend hums thoughtfully before asking “And what have you done so far?”

“Most of it.” answers Seongwoo confidently.

The microphone picks up Daniel’s giggles so Seongwoo amends, “A lot. Some.” He looks guiltily at the blank document and adds on uncertainly "Enough?”

Chortling, Daniel asks helpfully “How many more poems do you need to finish before they’ll publish it, Seongwoo?”

“There isn’t really a set amount of pages, unlike how it is for you guys. They just want it to feel complete.” He pauses, licking his lips, and repeats with more conviction. “ _I_  want it to feel complete.”

“Maybe you need more inspiration.” suggests his friend as Seongwoo types out a line, deletes it, and then writes it again. "Something like a change of scenery, perhaps? People say that a ‘spiritual retreat’ can help with these kind of things.”

_A change of scenery, huh?_

Seongwoo hums thoughtfully. “That’s not a terrible idea, Niel.”

“Thanks, even I have them occasionally.” laughs the younger man, good-naturedly. “It’s easier for me since I have most of my story outlined already. I only need to draw it but my hand keeps cramping up.”

Even without video call on, Seongwoo can already imagine the scrunched up expression that the other is probably pulling to accompany the pout evident in his voice.

Seongwoo’s phone pings with the arrival of a new message.

“Ugh, Editor Yoon asked me to set up a meeting with him tomorrow.” complains Seongwoo, whining as he stressfully rakes a hand through his rumpled hair.

“He’s not that bad,” comforts Daniel, giggling yet again. “You can get around Editor Yoon by telling him what you’re struggling with. Editor Ha on the other hand, he may be small in stature but he’s terrifying."

The line is silent for a moment as Daniel busies himself with something and Seongwoo taps aimlessly at the keys on his laptop.

“Anyway,” comes Daniel’s voice, breaking the silence. “I have to go now but you should really let Editor Yoon know how you’re feeling. He might consider allowing you to take a holiday and, you know, recharge your poetry batteries or whatever.”

“I’ll think about it.” replies Seongwoo, closing the empty document and pulling up Naver search.

He types in _‘island holiday retreat’_ and hits enter.

  
  
  
  


\- - -

  
  
  
  


The boatman turns back to him, casual smile thrown over his shoulder, as the man steers the tiny watercraft towards the dock with a well-worn oar.

“The villagers on this island live the traditional way that our ancestor’s used to so without any modern technology and conveniences, this is the best way to reach it.” explains the man, banking the small boat where the land meets the water. “It’s a bit difficult, but luckily we don’t get that many visitors."

“Ah, really?” says Seongwoo, sighing as he takes in the scenery. “It must be nice that it’s so remote.”

He closes his eyes and lets the gentle sound of the splashing water and the clack of the wooden oar against the boat rush over his ears.

“Is that what brings you here?” asks the man, his voice gruff but not unkind.

Opening his eyes again, Seongwoo nods. “Yeah, I’m a writer. Of poems, to be exact. But lately I’ve been having trouble finding any inspiration.” Shaking his head, he adds on with a casual shrug “My best friend suggested going somewhere and reconnecting with nature so, well, here I am.”

The boatman hums thoughtfully, expertly dodging a large rock with a practiced swing of his oar.

“I see. In that case, if you’re looking for a place to reconvene with yourself away from any distractions, I’ll say you’ve come to the right place.” he finally says, smiling at Seongwoo.

Returning the smile, Seongwoo replies with enthusiasm “I certainly hope so! I don’t really know what I’ll do otherwise.”

“They say that this island is untouched by time, a little bubble of tranquility in a sea full of chaotic waves.” The man turns to grace Seongwoo with a knowing smile. “I’m sure that you will be able to find your answers here."

  
  
  
  


\- - -

  
  
  
  


“Oh, now where is that thing?” mutters the old woman, fussing with the cabinet drawers, her strands of grey hair only barely visble to Seongwoo as he stands on the opposite side of the table counter. 

Left alone to wait awkwardly, Seongwoo glances around the inn, taking in the dark rich wood of the beams overhead and the scuffed but well-kept floorboards underneath him. The walls are decorated with intricate woven tapestries and fresh flower arrangements decorate the hallways. Breathing in deeply, Seongwoo finds that there is a prevalent scent of woody, rustic musk hanging in the air but it doesn’t smell old or unpleasant.

_Nostalgic_ , thinks Seongwoo.

Even though he’s never set foot in this old inn before it feels welcoming and comfortable, like returning to a childhood room as a visiting adult. 

Foreign in its familiarity.

“Ah, here it is!” announces the innkeeper, brandishing a dainty silver key in her small hand. She coughs to clear her throat as she straightens up to her full height, which allows her face to be visible to Seongwoo. “You must forgive me, you’re the first visitor we’ve had in years! And after a while you lose track of where you put these things, you know how it is."

Nodding politely, Seongwoo replies with a smile. “It’s no problem, I was admiring your place while I was waiting.” 

She steps around the desk and beckons him to follow her with a wave of her hand, deftly climbing the steps to the next floor with surprisingly agile steps.

"It’s beautiful.” comments Seongwoo, as they make their way down the corridor. "I really like how traditional your inn is in appearance yet everything is so well-taken care of, it’s almost as though it’s only a few years old. It’s really amazing."

The old woman chuckles, hiding her mouth behind a hand. “Yes, I suppose it seems that way. Here is the room that you’ll be staying in. Feel free to stay as long as you want, it’s not easy to come all this way.” She opens the door to Seongwoo’s room and gestures him inside. “In fact, I would say that only people that know exactly what they’re looking for manage make it all the way to our little island.”

Perplexed, Seongwoo follows her inside and says with a confused tone, “But that’s the problem, I _don’t_ know what I’m looking for."

“You’ll find your way.” comforts the woman, patting his shoulder gently. “We all do eventually.”

  
  
  
  


\- - -

  
  
  
  


Breakfast is a quiet affair, held at the nearby teahouse that had come recommended by the innkeeper when Seongwoo had awoken in the morning with the sunrise. 

A young girl in her teens brings him a bowl of perfectly cooked porridge along with a plate of lightly fried fish and a small collection of healthy side dishes. 

She sends him a tightly-lipped smile and leaves quickly after delivering the food, not intending to engage in conversation. 

Similar to the inn, there are no other guests or customers in the main room of the teahouse and Seongwoo eats alone, accompanied only by the faint chirping of the tittering birds outside. 

It’s peaceful in a way that Seoul could never compare. 

Even in the privacy of his own apartment, Seongwoo thinks that he has never eaten breakfast alone without the background noise of his television or music, or more frequently as of late, the beeping interruptions of his phone alerting him of all his unread notifications.

Once he is finished with his meal, Seongwoo searches for the girl again to pay and finds her talking softly in a corner with a smaller girl. The child appears excited and tries to greet Seongwoo, but the older girl hushes her and refuses to take Seongwoo’s money when he offers it; instead shaking her head and telling him that she’ll put it on his tab for now before clasping a thin hand around the younger girl’s wrist and scurrying off.

Bemused, Seongwoo tucks his wallet back into his pocket and scratches awkwardly at his neck.

_That was weird_ , he thinks, _I guess they mustn’t be used to interacting with strangers much._

Shrugging it off for now, Seongwoo makes his way outside.

  
  
  
  


\- - -

  
  
  
  


The weather on the island today is overcast and chilly, however Seongwoo has made it a point to explore more of his new environment, hoping to try and soak up some of that writers’ inspiration. In preparation, he had thought to pack a blank notebook, a beautiful red moleskine that carries the scent of the parchment that Seongwoo associates with literature and blossoming creativity, and several pens in his knapsack so that he could jot down any phrases that came to mind while walking.

Seongwoo treads lightly, a flurry of stray thoughts jostling around in his head as he walks and surveys his surroundings.

Parts of the trail are overgrown with wild foliage, green sprouts and leaves making their way onto the footpath as though nature had been slowly trying to reclaim the traces of mankind that had been put there. The chirping of the birds and the crisp, fresh air that fills Seongwoo’s lungs are so unlike the dull, grey haze of the city, with its stale air and mechanical whirring, that Seongwoo feels as though he has been transported to a different world rather than a quaint little island off the west coast of the country.

He busies his mind with thinking about topics to write about. 

_Nature? Finding himself?_

_Finding love?_

He chuckles in self-amusement, muttering to himself under his breath. 

"Well, a bit of wishful thinking never went amiss."

The slight incline of the path that Seongwoo had chosen had not seemed too challenging at first when he had started out, although after close to twenty minutes of brisk walking, it seems that the activity had turned out to be more vigorous than Seongwoo had expected. 

However, the view afforded at the end of the route proves to be well worth the trek. 

The cliffside offers a gorgeous and unencumbered view of the rest of the island below and Seongwoo can see the inn that he is staying at, as well as the teahouse and a small cluster of tiny buildings that make up the entirety of the village centre. From the high vantage point, he can see several fishermen out on boats over the water as well as an old woman attending to her garden of plants hidden behind a low wall. 

Turning his head away from the town, Seongwoo’s eyes track the movement of the ocean; the water periodically lapping in waves at the jagged stones that make up the coastline, their dark brown visual striking a stark contrast to the vivid green of the rest of the island. 

The writer contents himself with leaning on an old fence post to catch his breath, staring out at the sea in awe. 

“Us creative types aren’t really built for this sort of thing.” voices Seongwoo, panting softly.

“That makes two of us, I suppose.” comes the unexpected reply.

Seongwoo jolts in surprise, slipping from his hold of the wooden block and floundering dumbly before grasping the fencepost again and clinging to it, slowly sliding down to the ground in a sort of suspended freefall. 

A man sits up from where he had been lying on the grass, seemingly sleeping out in the open, and regards Seongwoo coolly, a glimmer of curiosity evident in his brown fox-like eyes.

Like the rest of the townspeople, the stranger is similarly adorned in an olden style of clothing however, rather than making him appear boring or dull, the traditional fit of the fabrics seem to complement the other’s classic beauty, enhancing his natural looks.

He’s _gorgeous_ , and Seongwoo feels his breath catching in his chest for a second time. 

“You must be the new visitor that everyone was talking about.” says the man matter-of-factly, rising up from his position on the ground. 

His voice is clear and sweeter than Seongwoo had expected, and the man passes his gaze over Seongwoo consideringly before meeting his eyes and smiling pleasantly at him. 

“I’m Minhyun.”

  
  
  
  


\- - -

  
  
  
  


Over the next few days, Minhyun spends more time with Seongwoo, showing him around the island and generally keeping him company. The other man looks to be around the same age as Seongwoo and oddly, the majority of the island dwellers (few as they may be) are either elders or young children. 

Between them, conversation comes easy and Seongwoo finds himself relaxing in Minhyun’s presence more easily than he had anticipated.

“The other day, you mentioned something interesting. Are you a writer as well?” asks Seongwoo as they traipse through the island’s overgrown forest, tilting his head and peering around at the trees in fascination and a small amount of wariness after a particularly large flying insect had accosted him earlier.

Minhyun stops walking and looks out at the mountain past Seongwoo’s shoulder. He purses his lip oddly before eventually giving a response. 

“I’m a musician.” says the man softly, sending Seongwoo a small smile before adding on, quietly. “Or at least, I was."

“Hmmm, it’s not easy being an artist, is it?” says Seongwoo, quirking his lips into a wry smile and coming closer, laying a hand on Minhyun’s shoulder.

Minhyun glances appraisingly at Seongwoo’s arm and Seongwoo has half a mind to take his hand off and apologise immediately to Minhyun for touching him when the other man lifts his own arm, pale and smooth in comparison to Seongwoo’s own lanky, lithe one, and pats him cautiously with a cool palm. His caress is featherlight but Seongwoo feels the weight of his touch lingering at the point of contact long after Minhyun has withdrawn his hand.

“I suppose a lot of things in life aren’t easy.” responds Minhyun, a certain sadness lingering in his eyes even as he keeps his tone light. “Come on, the other side of the island isn’t too far from here."

The other man turns and starts walking again so Seongwoo follows along quickly, carefully stepping over a large branch. 

"I was actually hoping to perhaps find something on this trip.” confides Seongwoo, his voice breaking up the monotonous sound of the dead leaves crunching harshly under his shoes.

Minhyun looks back at Seongwoo over his shoulder curiously, humming politely for Seogwoo to continue. Something about the way the sunlight chooses to reflect off of the other man casts Minhyun in an ephemeral glow that has Seongwoo’s breath catching at his throat in a parody of the first time that they had met. 

Seongwoo’s eyes widen as he drinks in the sight and he feels his mouth dropping open unwittingly.

Swallowing unnaturally, Seongwoo chuckles and sends a smile towards Minhyun. “If I was a painter, I guess you could say that I’m looking for my muse.” he explains.

“I see.” says Minhyun as he nods his head slowly, strands of dark hair appearing brown, almost-red, with the movement before he turns to face away from Seongwoo and the moment is broken. 

They continue to walk, side by side this time, and Minhyun offers Seongwoo a comforting remark.

“I hope you find them. Wherever they are."

  
  
  
  


\- - -

  
  
  
  


After being on the island for almost a week, the girls at the teahouse have eventually started to warm up to Seongwoo’s presence.

Today, lunch consists of a small bowl of noodles accompanied by a plate of freshly-caught seafood that has been expertly fried to perfection. Opposite him, Minhyun currently sits nursing a cup of hot tea, having chosen to keep Seongwoo company but refusing to eat, claiming that he had already eaten at home before coming over.

Setting down his chopsticks, Seongwoo is about to try and urge Minhyun to at least try the octopus when the door to the back area opens and the two sisters walk out. 

“This is delicious, Sohye!” Seongwoo calls out to the elder girl, who gives him a polite nod as she goes to tidy up the other side of the room. 

Meanwhile, the younger girl gracefully skips over with bouncing pigtails, her light footsteps inaudible as she tiptoes and surveys the table of food.

“Hello Dahye, have you been good for your sister lately?” greets Minhyun, holding out a hand to pat the small girl’s head fondly.

“Of course!” chirps Dahye, patiently standing still for Minhyun to arrange her hair neatly before going back to eyeing Seongwoo’s plate interestedly.

“Do you want to try some?” asks Seongwoo, offering her a piece of cuttlefish.

The girl stares at the item longingly but shakes her head. “No, thank you. I’m not allowed to.”

“Oh? Why not?” prompts Seongwoo, furrowing his brows in confusion.

Watching the exchange silently until now, Minhyun chips in and explains. “She’s allergic.”

“Ohh, I see.” Eyes widening in comprehension, Seongwoo nods and turns to address the little girl again. “Don’t worry about it, Dahye. Seafood is nice but there are other nicer tasting things out there!”

“Do you eat a lot of things?” asks the girl innocently. “Is that why you’re so tall?”

“I guess so?” answers Seongwoo, laughing good-naturedly. “Ah, you’re so cute.”

“Is that why I'm not getting any taller? I want to grow tall like my sister!” whines Dahye, a small pout forming on her lips.

Seongwoo smiles sweetly and rests an arm on the table, leaning down closer to the child to whisper. “Don’t worry, just wait. One day, you will look in the mirror and suddenly you’ll be as tall as Sohye.”

He is too occupied in tapping the girl lightly on the nose with a finger to notice how the older girl tenses up at the mention of her name, and the way that she and Minhyun share a loaded glance over his head.

“Once you’re done eating, I was thinking of showing you the south side of the island.” suggests Minhyun, as he sits back to observe Seongwoo’s reaction. “I don’t think you’ve seen it yet and the scenery there is quite different from the rest of the island."

“That sounds good.” answers Seongwoo, bidding goodbye to Dahye and turning his attention back to his food. “I think I would like whatever you have to show me."

  
  
  
  


\- - -

  
  
  
  


The ground around this side of the island is a dark, ashen colour and the trees aren’t tall enough to provide cover from the heat of the sun. Seongwoo feels his shirt sticking uncomfortably to the back of his neck and the atmosphere here is so different in contrast to the other side of the island where the villagers live, green and abundant.

There, the overall feeling had been refreshing and vibrant and _alive_ , the cool breeze of the ocean and bright colours of the flowers so visible in their design. Conversely, this area feels mysterious in its barrenness, raw and untamed with no manmade structures around except for the remains of a long-abandoned armoury that Minhyun had pointed out.

Seongwoo can feel his sleeping creativity awaken within him.

“Wow, this is amazing!” gapes Seongwoo, twisting his neck around to survey the land.

Standing further back, Minhyun replies less enthusiastically “I suppose it is quite interesting.”

“ _Quite interesting?_ ” repeats Seongwoo, mimicking Minhyun. “This whole island is fascinating, it’s almost magical.” he says in wonder, closing his eyes and raising his face towards the sun as he spreads his arms wide open, spinning languidly on the spot.

“I’m glad you’re enjoying yourself.” Minhyun pleasantly comments, his laughter tinkling airily,

“It’s just-“ Seongwoo pauses and collects his thoughts. “It’s like this whole island feels like it’s been stuck in time, you know what I mean?”

Minhyun bobs his head in agreement automatically before an unsure expression appears on his face and he shakes his head.

“It’s so quaint and lovely here.” says Seongwoo, sighing emphatically as he looks out at the calm blue of the tranquil ocean in front of them. “To be honest, it gets kind of tiring to live in the modern world all the time. Seoul is great but everything is so fast-paced. I feel like I can barely breathe sometimes.”

“I understand. The island is a good place to recharge and find refuge from the things that you don’t want to deal with just yet.” says Minhyun smiling beatifically so that his eyes crinkle up into small slits like that of a fox’s. “Perhaps, I’ve been here for too long and seen too much that I don’t appreciate it the same way that you do. The island must look so different with a pair of fresh eyes."

“Have you lived here all your life?” prods Seongwoo, observing Minhyun’s face attentively. 

He watches as the other bites down subconsciously on his bottom lip, transforming it from a light pink to a beckoning red, before Minhyun gives him an answer. 

“Yes, you could definitely say that.”

“What happened to all the younger people, did they leave already?” asks Seongwoo, bringing his gaze back up to meet Minhyun’s own.

“The others are all long gone.” states Minhyun, tilting his head down as he worries at the hem of his sleeve with his fingers. Seongwoo cannot see his expression from where it lies hidden behind the other’s fringe.

"Do you find it boring sometimes?” probes Seongwoo, mindful that he has always had the tendency to overstep his boundaries in a way that sometimes makes other people feel uncomfortable or exposed but he cannot find it in himself to curb his interest this time.

Minhyun lowers his arms and meets Seongwoo’s gaze. With a surprising amount of sincerity, he says “You’re here now, so it’s not so bad.”

“Right.” mutters Seongwoo, thrown off-guard by the other man’s bluntness.

Blinking rapidly, Seongwoo feels the tips of his ears heat up before he breaks out into a cheeky grin.

“Right!” Seongwoo barks out a laugh and throws an arm around Minhyun’s shoulder. "I’ll be all the entertainment you need and more, Hwang Minhyun.”

  
  
  
  


\- - -

  
  
  
  


Most of the time, Seongwoo finds himself atop of the cliff where he had first chanced upon Minhyun, sitting on the ground amongst the grass and flowers with his pen and paper in hand.

The words come easy to him these days and his head is entertained with vivid descriptions and evocative imagery, the ideas and phrases that had once eluded him, now falling gracefully from his fingers and tongue. His workbook is filled with jumbled sentences about fulfilment, freedom, and inner peace; clustered metaphors that speak of wanderlust, curiosity, and unexplored potential.

And, nestled amongst the scrapped drafts and aborted half-sentences, Seongwoo has hidden fragments of a carefully budding affection; a tentative longing, an aching want.

He looks up from his writings and observes Minhyun sprawled out on the ground beside him, eyes closed and laying still as a statue, Seongwoo cannot help but think that no piece of art could ever compare to his beauty.

Subconsciously, Minhyun must feel the weight of Seongwoo’s stare upon him because the other man abruptly opens his eyes, catching Seongwoo in the act.

Minhyun adopts a cheeky smile, an expression that the poet has already grown familiar with, and questions him with a subtly raised eyebrow.

“Have you finished writing for today? Or are you getting distracted already?” 

“You can’t fault me for that.” sniffs Seongwoo, smirking playfully in a similar fashion. "The view here is gorgeous, after all.”

“Is that so?” drawls the other, effortlessly picking himself up and settling down beside Seongwoo, pressed up against him. “Let me take a look at what you’ve written so far.”

He tugs Seongwoo’s leather-bound notebook out of his hand with a set of elegant fingers and Seongwoo weakens his grasp, obliging willingly. 

Seongwoo watches Minhyun’s face as his eyes skim the pages, flickering over Seongwoo’s exposed heart impassively.

“These are good.” he concludes finally, staring transfixed at Seongwoo’s words.

“I’m glad one of us thinks so.” Seongwoo chuckles wryly.

Minhyun makes a questioning noise. “You don’t like them?”

“No, I do.” Seongwoo shakes his head, receiving his notebook back from Minhyun. “But none of them feel quite right yet, like I've only written down scattered puzzle pieces so far. I’m waiting for one that feels _complete_.”

“Would a bit of incentive help?” chuckles Minhyun, a mischievous smile stretching his pink lips.

“What?” laughs Seongwoo, leaning closer to tease his companion. "Like for every poem I complete, you’ll give me a kiss?” 

“Perhaps.” answers Minhyun, surprising Seongwoo in the way that he rises to take the bait. Seongwoo had only been joking when he had proposed the idea but there had been more than an undercurrent of wishful thinking behind the suggestion. “Bold of you to assume that I would want to kiss you.”

“Bold of you to assume that I would want you to kiss me.” Seongwoo whispers back.

The air between them feels electric.

He brings his face closer to Minhyun's, a nervous shiver racking up his arms that support his weight as he leans over Minhyun, and the dirt beneath his hands starting to stick uncomfortably to his sweaty palms.

Their faces are impossibly close now, less than a hair’s breadth separating his chapped lips from Minhyun’s own lightly parted ones.

“Be a little bolder."

Minhyun breathes out a plea and Seongwoo obliges as he closes the gap.

  
  
  
  


\- - -

  
  
  
  


Something about the chill of the air this particular night causes sleep to evade Seongwoo’s clutches. Instead he finds himself awake in his room, perched by the windowsill and struggling to write under the light of the moon.

The window that he had been provided with is large and free of coverings, and allows Seongwoo an unobscured view of the full moon tonight. Despite this, Seongwoo is buzzing with a strange restless energy that prevents him from both relaxing or concentrating, the fine hairs on his arms standing on end as he resists the urge to pace aimlessly around his room.

His fingers itch for the habitual distraction of his phone however with no means to recharge his devices, Seongwoo had quickly depleted the batteries on his phone, tablet, and laptop within the first few days of his arrival despite having no cellular coverage on the entire island.

Eventually, Seongwoo’s feet make the decision for him, pulling him out of his room and leading him downstairs.

In the dim lighting, he almost trips on the polished wooden steps but catches himself at the last second, noisily bracing his hand against the wall with an audibly loud thumping sound.

Seongwoo waits for a couple of seconds to see if he has woken up the innkeeper (unlikely, since he has seen her pottering about at all hours of the night before and it is still before midnight) before deciding to yell out an apology anyway.

“Sorry!”

His voice reverberates around the corridors and echoes down the hallway but the inn remains silent. The place is eerily quiet, devoid of the chirping noises of the nearby animals.

It makes Seongwoo feel uneasy.

As he makes his way outside, Seongwoo doesn’t come across a single soul on the island. The fishing pier where he sometimes sees the boatmen out at night is empty, and even the dog that belongs to the couple on the corner house is not around.

Seongwoo seems to have an uncanny ability for finding Minhyun whenever he decides to seek him out, however even he is nowhere to be found. In his idle wandering, Seongwoo checks all of Minhyun’s usual hangouts but the other man doesn’t appear to be at any of them.

Lastly, Seongwoo makes his way to the top of the seaside cliff and stands on the edge alone, looking out over the rest of the little village from the tallest point of the island. 

The glowing full moon greets Seongwoo over the black, unmoving ocean.

He doesn’t see a flicker of life anywhere as far as his eye can see and wonders if he is dreaming.

  
  
  
  


\- - -

  
  
  
  


“Hello?”

Seongwoo visits the teahouse the next day, late in the morning after he had finally chased sleep upon returning to his room the previous night.

“Sohye? Dahye?” he calls out tentatively, forehead scrunching up in confusion.

There’s nothing but the sounds of his own footsteps answering him, clunking noisily on the wooden floorboards below. He is about to venture into the back room to search for the girls when Seongwoo notices motion in the corner of his eye as a dark shadow dances over the panelled walls before him. 

Spinning around, his eyes meet with Minhyun’s.

“Have you seen either of the girls?” asks Seongwoo bewilderedly, used to the other man’s unexpected arrivals by now.

Eyes roving around the empty room, Minhyun replies “Are you looking for them? I think you might have just missed them.” He angles his head to the side in consideration and adds on "Their parents came to pick them up earlier.”

“Their parents?” parrots Seongwoo, mouth dropping open in surprise. “Oh. They must be the owners of this place then, huh?”

“Yes. Although, they are busy with other things.” explains Minhyun, smiling congenially. “Say, would you like to have a picnic up on the cliff today?”

Seongwoo had originally been planning to ask more about the teahouse but gets sufficiently distracted by Minhyun’s invitation and loses his train of thought.

Eyes lighting up, Seongwoo grins and replies “I’d love to! The weather today is lovely.”

Minhyun returns his smile, pleased at the ready agreement. “You go on ahead then. I have to run and pick up a few things first, and then I’ll meet you there alright?"

  
  
  
  


\- - -

  
  
  
  


The view of the island changes in the light of day. 

In contrast, the village had appeared so dead and lifeless when Seongwoo had stood here yesterday and yet now, as he looks down at the same scene with the warm sunlight kissing his skin and the birds singing in the trees, it feels like a different world.

Absorbed in the moment, Seongwoo reaches into his bag to pen down his thoughts and try to capture the experience, caught up in articulating his mind to the point of becoming ignorant to his surroundings.

A light rustle of leaves is the only warning he gets before a small rodent creature emerges out from the brambles and darts around his shoes, scurrying frantically in its panic and causing Seongwoo to drop his notebook as he lets out an embarrassing and ungainly yelp. 

The little woodland animal ( _it’s a chipmunk_ , Seongwoo mind supplies, as his eyes pick up a flurry of striped brown fur between his feet) is startling but no cause for concern and Seongwoo releases a breath he hadn’t realised he was holding, his heart rate calming down. 

It picks back up again the next second when a large hawk-like bird emerges from the forest, aggressive in its pursuit of its prey, and swoops directly into Seongwoo’s face. He flinches away from the vulture, arms flying up to protect his head, as he stumbles backwards and slides on the uneven gravel at the edge of the cliff.

He falls.

With his arms akimbo and a scream lodged in the back of his throat; his vision transforming from the green of the forest, to the blue of the sky, to the black of his own eyelids.

_What a poetic way to die_ , Seongwoo can’t help but think plaintively.

“I’ve got you.”

Seongwoo hears the soft whisper of Minhyun’s voice as gentle arms begin to surround him and only dares to open his eyes once his feet touch ground again. 

Before him, stands Minhyun looking like an ethereal vision of Seongwoo’s own personal guardian angel, appearing seemingly out of thin air when Seongwoo needed him most.

“You saved my life.” Seongwoo chokes out gratefully. 

Minhyun wears a displeased expression, his hands still wrapped around Seongwoo’s own arms in a loose hold. 

“Yes, but I would have preferred it if you weren’t in a position that required saving.” He slowly releases Seongwoo, fingers lingering to prolong their contact. “Are you okay?"

“Y-Yes. I’m fine now that you’re here, I think.” answers Seongwoo, inching closer towards Minhyun and further away from the where the land ends.

“If you were a couple of seconds later-“ Seongwoo trails off uncertainly.

Minhyun cuts him off with a shake of his head. “It’s best not to think about that kind of thing. I got here in time and that’s all that matters."

“About that, how did you get here so fast when I don’t remember seeing you at all before I- before that bird launched itself at right at my face and shocked the living daylights out of me. _Right at my face_ , can you believe it?” says Seongwoo, speaking progressively faster as he begins to ramble, attempting to get his emotions back in order.

“Breathe, I’ve got you. As long as I’m around, I promise that nothing bad will happen to you.” says Minhyun, stroking Seongwoo’s hair tenderly with a steady hand.

It should sound like an empty promise but somehow Seongwoo finds himself believing Minhyun’s words. 

  
  
  
  


\- - -

  
  
  
  


Everything about them begins and ends at the top of the seaside cliffs.

“Did you manage to finish your latest poem?” asks Minhyun, sitting with his face resting between his hands in a pose that somehow mirrors the flowers around him.

The month that Seongwoo had planned for his vacation had passed quickly and pleasantly, and Seongwoo leaves feeling more inspired than he has in years, possibly ever. The fresh air, the antique buildings, the fluttering of his heart rate whenever he is with Minhyun; Seongwoo feels rejuvenated and alive with ideas, ready to go back and share his art with the rest of the world.

On this tiny and unmapped little island, Seongwoo had found everything that he was looking for and more.

“Yes!” replies Seongwoo cheerfully. “I’m happy with how this one turned out. I think my editor is going to be surprised once I show him all the work I’ve been putting in here."

“You should be proud. Everything that you’ve shown me is amazing." compliments Minhyun, smiling wholeheartedly at him.

“Oh, you flatterer.” Seongwoo simpers back, even as the tips of his ears flush hot. “Ah, just thinking about Jisung's shocked face is making me laugh.”

Seongwoo pauses, gathers his courage, and decides to ask.

“Hey, you know what? You should come back with me.” offers Seongwoo, making an attempt at sounding nonchalant but most likely the other man sees through to his nerves anyway.

Minhyun’s smiling visage crumples into an uneasy expression. 

“I don’t think that’s such a good idea.” Minhyun says quietly, a tension settling upon his shoulders.

Fighting back a frown, Seongwoo tries to smile encouragingly. 

“Why not? You don’t have to stay very long, maybe a week or a couple of days. I can take you around and show you all the best places in Seoul. It’ll be fun!” 

Seeing Minhyun’s hesitation, Seongwoo’s enthusiasm deflates slightly but he tries not to let it show, cracking a joke instead. “Ah, I’m sure must be sick of my face by now, artwork isn’t meant to be seen everyday after all.” He places a hand under his face, striking a pose.

“No. No, it’s not that at all.” placates Minhyun, giggling as he reaches out to pat Seongwoo’s shoulder affectionately. “I could never grow tired of you.” He pauses and smiles wider, exposing the whites of his teeth. “ _Or_ your face."

Self-confidence sufficiently boosted, Seongwoo straightens up.

“Then why?” he asks, the beginnings of a pout starting to form on his face.

Whenever Minhyun isn’t smiling, Seongwoo has noticed that the other man tends to have a naturally sombre expression that Seongwoo had initially mistaken for boredom or malcontent before quickly disregarding that thought once he gotten to know Minhyun better; once he had learnt that behind that handsome facade hid a cute and charming personality.

The expression that Minhyun is wearing now is one that Seongwoo has never seen before. The corners of Minhyun’s mouth are uplifted but his eyes are dull - _dead_ , almost - and Seongwoo doesn’t think that he has ever seen another person with a smile so sad.

“I can’t leave, Seongwoo.”

“Is it because you’re worried about leaving the village elders on their own?” asks Seongwoo, peering at Minhyun in concern. “It doesn’t have to be a permanent thing, we can even do just one day.”

“That’s not it.” says Minhyun, staring at the ground as he replies despondently.

Over the twenty-nine days that he has spent on the island, Seongwoo had observed his subtle nuances and habits during their time together, had memorised the fleeting touches during stolen interactions. He had collected the little puzzle pieces that make up Hwang Minhyun and with them, lovingly crafted a mental picture of him in Seongwoo’s mind.

To Seongwoo, Minhyun is serious yet playful, elegant yet clumsy, shy yet bold.

To Seongwoo, Minhyun is a piece of his own heart that he’d always thought was full yet never known he had been missing.

And now Seongwoo wants nothing more than to take Minhyun into his arms and keep him with Seongwoo forever, but instead he stays silent and waits, watches helplessly as crystal tears make their way down porcelain skin; watches as half of his heart breaks in front of him.

The truth is that Hwang Minhyun is exquisitely beautiful yet beautifully tragic.

“I’m bound to this island, Seongwoo.” he whispers.

Slowly and uncomprehendingly, Seongwoo asks in a low tone “What do you mean by that?"

Facing away, Minhyun avoids his eyes. “Don’t you think that there’s something strange about everyone on this island? I’m sure you’ve noticed it by now.”

Seongwoo thinks back to strange occurances that he had been ignoring in the back of his mind; the silent footsteps and empty rooms, the unexplained disappearance of the girls.

_The night of the full moon when Seongwoo had felt completely alone._

All of the little things start to add up.

“What do you want me to say?” whispers Seongwoo. “Is this island cursed? Haunted?”

“In a way.” Minhyun answers enigmatically.

Laughing nervously, Seongwoo says half-jokingly “Am I going to die?” 

Minhyun pins him with a tired stare and wry smile as he says “It might be more accurate to say that you are the only one that has not.”

“Somehow I feel like I might need to a second to get ready for this.” Seongwoo says, standing up abruptly and walking around in a circle, stretching his arms out in what must be a ridiculous fashion to watch because it prompts Minhyun into cracking a smile. Seeing Minhyun’s solemn facade break makes Seongwoo feel more at ease ( _that’s the Minhyun I know and fell in love with_ ) and he sits down again.

“Alright,” says Seongwoo bravely, “hit me with it.”

Minhyun chuckles briefly before adopting a sombre expression once again. “Do you remember the old armoury that I showed you during your first week here?”

Seongwoo nods, recalling the patchy grass and darkened ground.

“A long time ago, it was used to store weapons and supplies for the soldiers but was abandoned once the war ended. It was never cleared out though and somehow the old stockpiles of gunpowder triggered what might have been a smaller accident to erupt into a huge explosion, causing a large portion of the island to go up in flames.” explains Minhyun, detached in a way any listeners could be easily mistaken into thinking that he were simply weaving Seongwoo an old, fictional tale. 

He pauses, making sure that Seongwoo is following along before continuing.

“Those who managed to survive the initial blast eventually succumbed to the tsunami that followed in the aftermath.” finishes Minhyun, lacklustre in his delivery.

Stunned, Seongwoo only manages to gather his wits enough to make a coherent response after a long silence has passed.

“That’s horrible.” he finally says, although his reply feels inadequate.

“It happened over half a century ago.“ states Minhyun, softly.

“Still,” says Seongwoo, feeling remorseful as his disbelief starts to lessen. "I’m so sorry you had to go through that.”

“Don’t be. It’s not your fault.” Minhyun shakes his head, not after any sympathy. 

“Then all this time, I’ve been alone? How haven’t I died yet?” asks Seongwoo, trailing off hesitantly.

A rustle from the tree above catches both of them off-guard but moments later, a small pair of beady eyes pops up, followed by a bushy tail, and then disappears into the forest.

That must be the same chipmunk from the other day, thinks Seongwoo as he watches it leave.

“Time passes strangely here.” answers Minhyun, turning his attention back on Seongwoo. “While it’s true that the food that you’ve eaten isn’t real, a foreign magic clings to this island that endeavours to keep everyone here trapped in their current state. So we stay dead, and you stay alive.”

“Well,” begins Seongwoo, bringing up both of his arms and burying his face into his hands, “I guess there really something magical to this place after all then.” 

Seongwoo laughs, hysterically, before sighing and lowering his hands. Meanwhile, Minhyun chooses to remain silent and looks to the waves below them as they periodically roll in and out, hitting the same rocks in the same way that they have been for years.

“I wish you weren’t imprisoned like this.” whispers Seongwoo, reaching a hand out towards Minhyun.

“Thank you for worrying about me, Seongwoo,” breathes out Minhyun, shutting his eyes as Seongwoo gently strokes a finger down the side of the other’s face, "but I’ll be alright. In time, everyone will eventually leave, including me. I don’t know when but soon, I think."

Minhyun opens his eyes again and smiles warmly, a real one that lights up his eyes this time.

“You should go now, make sure you don’t miss your boat back home.”

  
  
  
  


\- - -

  
  
  
  


The strap of Seongwoo’s bag starts to dig into his shoulder as Seongwoo stands on the pier, waiting as the rowboat draws ever closer. 

“You’re not our only visitor Seongwoo, but you are the first that we’ve had in a very long time and to me, you’re different from all of the others.” says Minhyun, waiting beside Seongwoo and facing out at the ocean wistfully. 

Between them, the back of their hands brush against each other, fingertips close enough to touch but not intertwine. 

“It seems that people only stumble upon this island if they will find what they are looking for here.” says Minhyun, a multitude of unspoken words hanging poignant in the air.

Seongwoo thinks he understands.

“I’m glad I met you, Minhyun."

“I’m glad I met you too, Seongwoo.”

Seongwoo leans in to place a chaste kiss upon Minhyun’s lips and slips a folded piece of paper, its edges messily ripped from his beloved red moleskine, into the other man’s hands. 

“A little piece of my heart for you to remember me by.” Seongwoo whispers into Minhyun’s ear before turning to leave.

  
  
  
  


Alone on the dock, Minhyun stays long after the boat has disappeared out of sight.

“As if I could ever forget you, Ong Seongwoo.”

  
  
  
  


\- - -

  
  
  
  


After leaving, Seongwoo discovers that time had not been passing whilst he had been on the island and that his vacation has actually just started.

_Was it all a dream?_ he wonders aloud. 

The pages and pages of writing in his notebook - the steady ache of longing settling in his heart - prove otherwise.

Suddenly gifted with nearly a month of paid leave and a clear schedule, Seongwoo decides to use the time to travel around the country and centre himself. 

He buys a pristine new moleskine ( _blue, this time_ ) and spends the days writing in nature, driving along country roads, and taking photos of the places he ends up along the way. 

By the time he has made his way around the entire country, Seongwoo finds that he has entirely filled up his new notebook.

Occasionally, he misses Minhyun.

  
  
  
  


\- - -

  
  
  
  


Back in Seoul, time speeds up again and Seongwoo is quickly swept up in the busyness that is metropolitan life in a city that never rests. The first thing he does after getting back is surprise his editor by presenting him with a fully drafted book of his poems, ready for publication.

“Wha- Seongwoo, is this real?” splutters Jisung, mouth gaping as he thumbs through the stack of pages. 

“Of course! Do you have that little faith in my abilities? I’m hurt!” quips Seongwoo, clutching his heart dramatically with both hands.

“You’ve been dodging my calls for so long that I was almost expecting you to come back in here and hand me a resignation letter.” replies his editor, mirroring Seongwoo’s pose and sniffing loudly. Jisung turns his attention back to the manuscript with palpable disbelief. “But seriously, these are amazing. How did you find it in you to write all of these?”

“I met someone along the way.” answers Seongwoo cryptically. “I think I found my muse.”

“Did you bring them back with you?” probes Jisung, curiosity evident in his tone.

“Nope, I’m afraid not.” says Seongwoo, offering his editor a helpless shrug. He chuckles wryly, “A true muse is always frustratingly out of reach, aren’t they?"

“That’s a shame. I would have liked to meet them.” Jisung keeps his eyes down on the paper in his hands when he asks “Did you show them your work?”

“Yes, he told me that he liked them.” Seongwoo sighs and leans back, a melancholic smile upon his lips. "I also know what your next question will be and yes, I did write one just for him.”

His editor looks up at him in surprise, opening his mouth to speak but Seongwoo is quicker. He stands up, nodding at Jisung with a cheeky grin before spinning on his heel, heading for the door.

“I’m not ready to share that one with the world yet, but perhaps one day I will."

  
  
  
  


\- - -

  
  
  
  


on borrowed time

  


the grief of mourning someone   
who is still living  
can be likened to the pain   
of loving one who is already dead

the gentleness of the wind  
the heaviness of my footsteps  
the flowers that strive towards the sun  
you are ever in my head

a piece of my heart remains  
buried on an island under the moon  
in a garden of hopeless expectations  
living remnants they fade

in the meantime  
i cannot help but wonder  
like an errant fool exploring the world until

one day

when the time comes i will send you off  
with a smile and a wave  
but for now i continue to cling to  
your memory

i’m in love alone

  


_for h.m.h_

**Author's Note:**

> allow me to pretend that the poem i scrapped together at the end is poignant enough to be something ong seongwoo would actually write /sobs. i’m sorry i tried
> 
> tbh i couldn't decide whether i wanted to post this under the magic theme (day 2) or tragedy theme (day 6). it's a magical tragedy??? the working title of this was 'the saddest vacation ever' /sniffs
> 
> the quality of the fic goes down halfway through (i'm aware! ;A;) bc i was running out of time and also 6k words in, i was finally like 'oh hey this is a bad idea' lmao
> 
> thank you very much for reading and i hoped you enjoyed it! ♡


End file.
